Let's try to view it from the Lord's perspective.
Love is always present, waiting for you in peace and harmony.
The Holy Spirit is constantly with you, guiding you with love and peace.
Your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit depends on how connected you are to the fruit of the Spirit within you.
The Lord grants you free will to choose who you want to be and the kind of relationship you desire. Any abandonment of that choice ultimately rests with you.
When you first sin and cause harm, you create a barrier between yourself, the Lord, and others. Continuing in sin builds a prison of wrongdoings.
Every sinful brick you lay corrupts your spirit from within, blocking you from receiving the Lord's love, grace, and forgiveness.
The larger the sin, the more extensive the prison of wrongdoings becomes, increasing the blockage and your difficulty in receiving grace and connecting with the Holy Spirit and humanity.
When the emptiness of the spirit is replaced with unhealthy and unholy illusions of grandeur, destructive sins, and betrayal of not only who you were but also of humanity and the Lord, it can become unforgivable because the prison wall of shame becomes too thick and deep to break down.
Love and peace, grace and forgiveness are always there; however, they are out of reach for the unrepentant and blasphemers.